| What is Divorce Coaching?
Since there are no laws defining this work, there is no "legal" definition of Divorce Coaching. There are no licensing boards authorizing individuals to do this work. Anyone can say they are a "Divorce Coach," so the real question is: what kind of assistance does your client need and who can help?
Generally, a Divorce Coach will provide education and guidance to empower clients as they grow through the transformative process of divorce. A Divorce Coach who is a qualified professional Parenting Coordinator is a bonus for families with children (see discussion below).
When one household becomes two, everything changes. Each "head of household" has their own responsibilities and feelings about how their life is now as compared to how it was "before." A Divorce Coach guides clients as they develop the new personal skills they often need, not to merely survive, but to thrive, during and after divorce.
A Divorce Coach who is a qualified professional Parenting Coordinator is a valuable resource to clients as they take on their new role as a single parent, balancing their children's needs with their own. Just one parent's commitment and growth can make a huge difference in the family's dynamics.
A Divorce Coach understands the "business" of dissolving the marriage and its far-reaching effects on individuals and families. Clients working with a Divorce Coach become empowered to make decisions with clarity and manage their lives more cost-effectively, both emotionally and financially.
Caveat:
Divorce Coaching is not therapy. Divorce coaches do not have to be licensed mental health professionals, or attorneys or mediators. Individuals do not need any specific license or credentials to be “Divorce Coaches.” However, there are individuals working as Divorce Coaches who have sound practice principles. Choose wisely!
What is Parenting Coordination?
An increasingly popular option for divorced couples is working with a Parenting Coordinator. Typically, a Parenting Coordinator (“PC”) is appointed by the court to work in high conflict cases, but the option of working with a professional PC is available to all divorcing couples on a voluntary basis.
A PC works with parents to resolve disputes about child-centered issues. In court-appointed cases, both parents are ordered to participate. If the work is done voluntarily, it is ideal if both parents participate, however, one parent’s commitment and growth can make a huge difference in the family’s dynamics and child-focused conflict-resolution ability. That’s “the power of one!”
PCs help parents work through the nitty-gritty issues of childcare: who drives the children to and from school/sports/play dates; making decisions about after-school activities; curfews and even ear piercing. Some of the issues PCs help resolve may seem minor, but, without the professional guidance of the PC, these issues can escalate to become nasty fights that wind up in the courthouse, cost thousands of dollars in legal fees, and create emotional scars that last a lifetime.
A PC is also a valuable resource for post-divorce families when the children have outgrown the terms of the divorce agreement. Parenting plans need to evolve as children get older and their needs change, and parents benefit from the expertise of a trained professional whose focus is on dispute resolution regarding child-centered matters.
Parenting Coordination statutes and programs currently exist in several jurisdictions. The rules and qualifications for PCs vary by location; however, a PC is always an impartial alternative dispute resolution professional. Generally, the PC will be a licensed mental health professional or an attorney, with training in mediation, knowledge of child and adolescent development and family systems, familiarity with family law, and specific training in parenting coordination.
Caveat:
Parenting coordination is not therapy, it is not advocacy for one parent against the other, and it is not an evaluation procedure conducted regarding custody. A PC has the ability to defuse emotions, facilitate problem-solving techniques and keep families out of court. Take advantage of this option!
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